I am a writer and I love to hear from people about my work, what do you think of this poem
MUNCH-MUNCH?
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Thursday, 5th of August 2010 10:17:09 AM
Shards of Splintered Change I’m not willing to change, MUNCH-MUNCH? />l fear the change in the weather. l know I’m getting older. Registered User />l look back on the days when l could see through the shards of glass, Joined: Sunday, 25th of April 2010, 05:39:58
Images of horror were once placed among my wall of memories.
l
Posts: 1486 don’t wanna grow up; I’ll never be able to fill anyone’s shoes. Viewed 9459 times />People are afraid of the world outside,
It moves with the wind,/>The rain clouds saturate the graves.
l fear change.
l don’t
wish to see the manipulation, I’d like to watch people come together.
What would the world be like if everyone held hands?
How would
that change the world?
l don’t want change; it forces us to
confront the tattoos on the arm, the blood on our clothes, and theand
violence.
divides people, and yet it creates them.
The holy
wars and the harsh judgments passed between women are unlikely to change
the world.
Women are not the only cruel .
Fear; let me fear
what l do not understand.
Let me fear alone.
Women are allowed
to bleed because it is their nature to do so.
The blood of life is
worshiped by those can understand the importance of nature and the womb of
the female mother.
We all grow in the womb.
It is the
birthplace of love, , violence, rage, guilt, and horror.
It is the
birthplace of stones and polished crystals, dying children and poverty.
The womb creates the changes in the world, the changes that fear and
the changes that melt the hot wax on our souls.
Change the way we
teach our children.
Change the way we talk to each other. />Change the way he feed our elderly.
Change the way we write songs.
l am afraid of change, how can l help?
l am afraid to change the
world, how can l sing?
l am afraid of what l do not keep locked
within.
Boo-Boo
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Friday, 6th of August 2010 01:43:04 AM
I liked it at the begining but then it seems to wander off but Boo-Boo it has alot of potential if you ever edit it i would like to see that Registered User version and i would like to see some of your other poems email them to me Joined: Wednesday, 12th of May 2010, 21:08:07 if you want Posts: 718 Viewed 19519 times
Grammy NumNum
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Saturday, 7th of August 2010 01:43:17 PM
''Shards of Splintered Change'' is a moving piece of modern Grammy NumNum poetry;its a powerful piece & touches the very core of all humanity -the Registered User womb. I have no clue about who you are or what you've been through in the Joined: Friday, 23rd of April 2010, 13:02:18 past but this poem can only be written by someone who has deep Posts: 1167 understanding of the world,of a time when holding on to one is fears seems Viewed 15985 times to be the only right thing to do & yet to be torn between the cries for
change , to put an end to the uncaring madness, the apathy we see around
us. To view life through splintered glass is unique imagery, the
animation of suspended disbelief. Tormented images fills ur mind which
drives you deeper back to the inner recesses of ur heart. ''What would
the world be like if everyone hold hands?'' That is a beautiful line.
I've never read anything more direct & eloquent as these lines. Its the
kind of poem that only someone bordering genius could ever write. You're
so good & should be writing more of this.
Pututie ;;)
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Sunday, 8th of August 2010 09:10:18 AM
This is one Masterpiece...You are great!!! Pututie ;;) Registered User Joined: Friday, 14th of May 2010, 17:28:36 Posts: 599 Viewed 18891 times
Beans
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Monday, 9th of August 2010 11:13:54 AM
As a chef reduces a sauce to concentrate flavour, a poet Beans reduces language. Registered User Joined: Thursday, 10th of June 2010, 15:40:23 I agree with cengaver. It is too dilute. Posts: 166 Viewed 1750 times
peanutbutter
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Tuesday, 10th of August 2010 07:13:12 PM
Nice. Prosey. Keep working at it until it feels fluid. A good peanutbutter potter throws a lot of pots. I see two or three poems in this piece--I'd Registered User hone the theme down a little more. Most importantly, keep writing! ;) Joined: Monday, 26th of April 2010, 12:30:27 Posts: 454 Viewed 11016 times
HONEY BUNCHES OF OATS
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Wednesday, 11th of August 2010 09:14:08 AM
Hey, its your poem. If you like it, great. Otherwise I HONEY BUNCHES OF OATS wouldnt read it again. Registered User Joined: Saturday, 29th of May 2010, 06:42:03 Posts: 1937 Viewed 8847 times
my thug
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Thursday, 12th of August 2010 12:20:15 AM
I stopped reading after I saw the title my thug Registered User Joined: Sunday, 13th of June 2010, 16:50:21 Posts: 412 Viewed 4749 times
Flower Pot
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Friday, 13th of August 2010 06:34:04 AM
It does not have the taste of a poem it seems to be like a Flower Pot free style text rather than a poem. Registered User Joined: Thursday, 29th of April 2010, 10:37:58 Posts: 645 Viewed 12231 times
Babooshka
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Saturday, 14th of August 2010 03:21:24 AM
Ya dude it is good, but what u'r r trying to say frm u'r poem. Babooshka Registered User Joined: Tuesday, 20th of April 2010, 22:09:45 Posts: 2015 Viewed 18991 times
butt face
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Sunday, 15th of August 2010 11:35:21 PM
Two thumbs up i like it butt face Registered User Joined: Monday, 19th of April 2010, 07:33:50 Posts: 1120 Viewed 7523 times
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